You eat within that weight. Your family has a huge (but unconscious) impact on how much you eat and how much you weigh.
"Family Mind" in the diagram is referring to your learning history with your family. That's thousands of meals across tens of years. Plus you see them every day.
Much of your weight is "family weight."
It's one stepped removed from your family. That means your community has a big impact on how much you eat.
So yes, much of you weight is "Community Weight."
You may have pride in your state, maybe not. Either way your state influences your eating. Different states have different average weights.
So yes, part of your weight is your state's weight.
Not so long ago in our history we would know and learn from 50 to 150 people in our tribe. Lots of research shows that our brains are still "wired" that way. 150 is about the maximum number of people you can keep track of.
Most of us don't live in tribes anymore, so our minds go about building a tribe with the resources available.
Family is part of your tribe.
Friends are part of your tribe.
Coworkers are part of your tribe.
People you want to be like are part of your tribe.
Survival is huge... It's how we humans got to this time. Not so long ago it was our success as a tribe that kept us alive. The tribe's food kept us alive, and we got protection from predators (and other tribes). You want to fit in with your tribe to be safe. Being shunned from your tribe is very dangerous.
One of the best ways to fit into your tribe is to look like them, and your weight is a big part of how you look.
Danger signals are sent out in all sorts of ways, including the media. The modern world is a very dangerous place (think nuclear weapons).
A tribe in danger needs strong bonds. You need to do things together to strengthen bonds. So your tribal mind figures out how to "come together" with your made-up tribe to be safe.
Of course, the tribe that eats together comes together.
That's a fancy word that sort of means, "birds of a feather flock together."
It also means you change yourself to be like your tribe, and your tribe changes to be like you. We all feel safer that way.
You don't have feathers, but you have clothes.... and your weight.
You don't think about this process. It's unconscious. It's your "homophily mind" at work.
When you join the ACT Matrix Academy. (If you are already a member, then look in your library for the "Unsticking Sticky Relationships" recording.)
PER MONTH
You get a full library of courses like...
How to Deal with Difficult People
Pain Management
Weight Management
Helping Yourself
Helping Others
Mastering the Matrix
Much, Much More...
All courses can be viewed on any Smartphone, Tablet or Computer.
More courses are added every month.
PER YEAR (You save 33%)
You get a full library of courses like...
How to Deal with Difficult People
Pain Management
Weight Management
Helping Yourself
Helping Others
Mastering the Matrix
Much, Much More...
All courses can be viewed on any Smartphone, Tablet or Computer.
More courses are added every month.
Chances are when you concentrate (use willpower), you're focused on yourself.
But research shows willpower is weak in all humans. So most of the time you bounce back to the more comfortable Tribal Mind.
This makes sense. We aren't very safe as individuals, so we go with our tribe.
So if your tribe is eating, you eat.
From your Tribal Mind a buffet is a community feast! Everybody eats... The tribe bonds, then eats some more.
Everyone feels well fed and safe.
It's been trained by the media. The media teaches you that your tribe eats junk food.
The media teaches you to eat and bond with your tribe!
The media also trains you that you are danger all of the time. Eating comforts you and also makes you one with your tribe.
You feel safe in your "junk-food" tribe.
It makes more sense to give into temptation, at least temptations that our tirbe approves of. Those temptations are good for making babies, having fun and bonding as a tribe.
If you do have willpower, reserch shows that it's like a battery, and it runs out by mid-day.
By evening it's time to eat with the rest of your tribe.
Because you have a mind you think you can think, reason, plan and use your willpower for everything. That's because your mind focuses on its self. It's a byproduct of language.
However, most of your actions are done to Context Mind, not your individual mind.
Practically speaking, that means that you do what other's in your tribe do. They are your greatest form of safety.
We humans are a fearful species and we seek comfort in our tribe.
We need those 50 to 150 people to look at, to eat and mate with. "Searching for Tribe" is a powerful, unconscious urge.
Tribal Mind is a "program" running in the back of your mind.
Our modern world has brought the concept of outer space into our mind's eye. We have astronauts there all the time.
Then there's the whole world we can "tribe" with on the Internet.
Your Tribal Mind looks to
Outer Space mind,
World mind,
Country mind, etc. to
find a tribe.
Then friends, community and all the way to outer space.
Now in your mind's eye... your Tribe Mind, see your tribe and see their weight. See their eating habits.
At least you can help, and helping them helps you lose weight.
Think of you family as a mirror. Your tribal mind wants to look like them. If you can help them change their weight, then you will want to look like their weight.
You will want to get them on board with your weight plans and see if they want to go up or down in weight too.
Everyone in the family can get in touch with how the media is impacting their weight.
Everyone in the family can change their food consumption just a bit.
You and your tribe will be managing weight and being safe.
"Whether you are a professional helper or someone looking to up your game, Dr. Polk and his fabulous website provide you with effective tools to get you where you want to go. "
"Dear Dr, Polk It has been 2 years since I came across your creative way of doing ACT. At the time I read your first book. Ever since I've been watching your clips in the ACT Matrix Academy. A few months ago I bought your second book. Then everything fell into its right place. So, basically this is a thank you email. I have learned so much from your attitude and work, though we have never met. There is one more thing that I learned from you - the act of giving. I am writing a free guiding book for parents in Hebrew (nearly finished). I think that every parent and teacher should get know the matrix perspective. All of the psychologists that I supervise are familiar with this perspective. I wonder whether you might want to add your preface to the book. Best, Yossi"
"I love Mastering the Matrix! I have never had clients leave in such a happy state after a session. Also, it's such a joy to use and to see transformations as a learn more and more. What a jewel. "