Noticing Stuck Loops and Time Sucks to Pivot for Purpose

Mar 22, 2022

Using The ACT Matrix Point of View for Life Coaching sets up for noticing stuck loops and time sucks to help folks pivot to actions in the service of their life purpose.

Here’s what we mean: Our point of view starts with two lines, one vertical, and one horizontal, to form a diagram with four quadrants. Our five senses experiencing sits at the top, and our mental experiencing at the bottom, with satisfaction behaviors to the right and relief behaviors to the left.

In the lower right quadrant we ask, “Who is important to you,” and when doing life coaching we add, “What is your life purpose?” We at The ACT Matrix Academy show up for world peace, psychological flexibility, psychological safety, and coaching. You may notice other important people or life purpose. Write that in the lower right.

Next we move to the lower left quadrant and ask, “What shows up and gets in the way of life purpose?” This is the yucky stuff. We write down things like self doubt, fear, and imposter syndrome. You may notice other yucky stuff that shows up and gets in the way. Write those in the lower left.

Now when yucky stuff shows up we say, “Ew, yuck, get that away from me!” and we engage in behaviors to find relief from the yucky stuff. So in the upper left quadrant of the matrix you write down your favorite relief behaviors. Some of ours include quitting, complaining, and doing more research. You might notice other relief behaviors. Write those in the upper left.

So you get the idea of yucky stuff that can show up and get in the way of moving toward your life purpose, and then in the upper left, those are the behaviors you do to get relief from the yucky stuff.

Now the great thing about the upper left (relief) behaviors is that when you do them, they work perfectly every time and they get rid of all your self doubt and imposter syndrome forever. You never feel self doubt again, right?

NOT TRUE! It comes back. We can joke about this because we do it. We know how it feels when the yucky stuff keeps coming back and we keep doing things to get away from the yucky stuff and they become like a whirling vortex that is sucking us down the drain. This is what we call Stuck Loops. 

If you notice these stuck loops, you might also notice that they are time sucks. Spending time trying to find relief from yucky stuff takes time and energy away from things that might help you achieve your life’s purpose, or at least spend time with those who are important.

Instead of spending loads of energy on upper left relief behaviors to get away from the yucky stuff, you might go spend time with the kids, or do a Crowdcast, or write something. These behaviors go in the upper right quadrant of the matrix and might lead to satisfaction. 

Regardless of where you’re spending your time today, do you think you might have the opportunity to notice time sucks and stuck loops?



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